I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
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