I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
