Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
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