I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
