Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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