Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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