The brown eye won't let me do that either.
nutella sex= disaster
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
