Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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