you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
