This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
