we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
