You really coming over, don't trick.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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