She is in my trunk
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Im part way to drunk.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
