U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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