It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
We are all done wearing pants today
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
