You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
