Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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