Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
