Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
This beer is not sobering me up at all
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
