Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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