im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
