I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Randomize
