I think I am morally bankrupt
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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