I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
