so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
