My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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