I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
