His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
NoShamevember. You game?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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