Do you still have your period?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
