you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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