Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Randomize
