Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
