I wanna bring you to show and tell
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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