He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
