You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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