girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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