it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
