I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I skipped work to stalk him.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
