dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
