think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
