why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
