I'm jealous of your bromance
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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