it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
