I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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