forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
