Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
whose parrot is this?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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