can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
