I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
When did angry sex become our thing?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
