Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
