Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
vagina is talking i cant
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
