I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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