Whod you bang
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
