cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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