I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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