I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
ok first of all what the fuck
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
